Big emotions for such little people (part 2)

I guess what brought about the big change for me was a change in thinking and approach. Parenting with empathy. Seeing the world from his perspective.

He's a toddler, yes, but he's not unreasonable and naughty. He's not trying to manipulate me by having a meltdown - nobody enjoys a meltown, so why would he? Some people say you can't reason with a toddler, but I say that we need to treat them as we would want to be treated; with respect and empathy, taken seriously. Things that might seem stupid to us are very real and big to him - that's his world. Remember that a toddler is faced with limitations all day long, which is frustrating. We need to be their soft place, their safe place.

The bible says that we shouldn't exasperate our children, but instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Simplify your life. Baby-proof your house. Only say no when its really needed. How would you feel if you heard 'no' all day long.

Discipline from a place of love. Parent your child the way God parents us. If we feel upset about something, we can run into God's arms and feel safe there and the Holy Spirit will comfort us. Don't you think God knows how silly we are being with our little problems, that he could fix at a blink of an eye. But He wants us to run into Him (our strong tower).

I want to parent Ethan the way God parents us.

Big emotions for such little people (part 1)

I'd just like to start by saying that Ethan has taught me so many things about myself. Life is really a classroom and nothing challenges a person more than parenting - it really makes you HAVE to grow up. There are times when I wonder who's acting more like a child between the two of us, lol!

Anyways, the first year of Ethan's life was easy. I would even go as far as to say that he probably cried 30 minutes in total over his first whole year. I had always practiced attachment parenting with him and responded immediately to his cries and needs, so eventually, he was just a happy baby who knew his mommy was there to help no matter what.

Then the two's started approaching. Parenting became more challenging. Tempers were stretched easier from both sides. He appeared to be challenging me more, more naughty even. I started doubting myself and my gentle style of parenting. I even considered smacking (and we'll talk about that one later)!

We all have our bad days, but when parenting becomes consistently frustrating then I reckon its time to reassess techniques. Your current parenting style is obviously not yielding the kind of results you were looking for. And Ethan was also frustrated with my reaction to him, which made for added tension.

So I asked God for wisdom, and once again He was so faithful to point me back in the right direction. I found some amazing resources about peaceful parenting a toddler. Babies are pretty easy if their bellies are full, nappies are clean and they are well rested. Toddlers need lots of patience, empathy and redirection!

I will share the amazing practical tips that changed my outlook and life to a degree, in the next post.

For now let me just say that I can't remember the last time ethan has had a tantrum. I enjoy him and parenting every moment. He trusts me and is eager to please. It is such a blessing! Obviously we have some frustrated moments at times, but I have been equiped with the knowledge to turn it around quickly and restore peace.

I will share some of what I've learned soon! Watch this space!

The Importance of Breastfeeding

"Yet You are He Who took me out of the womb; You made me hope and trust when I was on my mother's breasts"  Psalm 22:9

"That you may nurse and be satisfied from her consoling breasts, that you may drink deeply and be delighted with the abundance and brightness of her glory"   Isaiah 66:11

There are a number of scriptures that speak about breastfeeding, and that it is a good thing! "You made me hope and trust when I was on my mother's breast". What a privilege!

And one only needs to look at nature and the way God created us to see what an awesome work He did, especially with regards to feeding our children.

Have a look at a few facts about breast milk and breastfeeding:

1. The composition of breast milk is perfect for the baby. It contains everything that a baby needs and nothing that the baby does not. There is a perfect balance of nutrients and water so that a baby does not even need to be given water when being breast fed. No formula however good can hope to replicate this
2. Breastmilk changes with each feeding
3. Your breasts will always produce just enough milk for your baby's needs
4. It has all the vitamins, fats, and proteins needed by your baby in exact amount. Breast milk, which is 90% water, consists of: nutrient proteins, non-protein nitrogen compounds, lipids, oligosaccharides, vitamins, minerals, hormones, enzymes, growth factors and protective agents. It has 10% solids for energy and growth
5. Baby becomes healthier with mother’s milk and has more defenses against various types of infant-related diseases
6. Breast milk prevents diarrhea in babies
7. Breast milk is the vaccine for all infectious diseases. The human breast "custom-makes" antibodies to fight whatever pathogen the infant is exposed to in the environment.
8. The most amazing aspect of breast milk is that it is actually live. It's not a consistent body fluid such as blood -- it's a secretion of the mammary gland -- and it is constantly changing its composition, dependent, of course, on the interaction with the baby
9. Immune strengthening ingredients in breastmilk include:
• Secretory IgA
• Lactoferrin
• Lysozyme
• Bifidus factor -- promotes growth of good, protective intestinal bacteria
• Oligosaccharides
• Milk lipids
• Milk leukocytes
10. Research has shown that as a result of the amazing content of breast milk breastfed babies have better gastric motility, mucosal mass, intestinal host defenses, brain and retinal growth
11. Even though the iron levels are fairly low in breast milk, iron is absorbed 50% more efficiently than in commercial cow's milk formula
12. The consistency of breast milk is also perfect at all times. It is neither too thick (lest it is difficult to digest) nor is it too dilute (lest it contain less nutrition than required).
13. The temperature of breast milk is always perfect, whereas with formula you need to check whether the bottle prepared is not too cool or too hot, you never once have to check the temperature of breast milk because it is exactly the right temperature for baby.
14. With breast milk, you never have to make or prepare a baby’s feed. You don’t have to worry about the kind of water to be used to mix with the formula; you don’t have to get up in the middle of the night to “make a bottle”.
15. Formula contains sucrose (sugar) which is harmful to baby’s teeth. Breast milk contains lactose, which is a simple sugar and cannot harm baby
16. Poop of a breastfed baby doesn’t stink as much as a formula fed baby's poop.
17. Breast milk can be used for many other things other than feeding baby such as treating Breast milk has been used to treat eye infections, ear infections,
    pimples, cold sores, and nail fungus and prevent infection in
    scrapes and scratches
18. It is very uncommon for a mom to have a real “low breast milk problem” most of the time this is just because of a bad latch
19. Human milk has over 300 ingredients, including interferon, white
    blood cells, antibacterial and antiviral agents, while formula has only 40
    ingredients
20. Human milk has been shown to kill cancer cells in a laboratory dish
    and has been used in oncology.
21. Human milk lactoferrin is patented for use in killing E. Coli in the
    meat packing industry.
22. Adoptive moms, grandmothers, and yes, even men(!) have been able to lactate for an infant.

I mean - WOW! Isn't God awesome! I can attest to many of these facts in my own life.

Breastfeeding is by far the most convenient and healthy way to feed your baby. And these facts don't even cover the physical benefits to the mother and emotional benefits to both.

I always used to see breastfeeding as simply a nutritional act, even a few weeks into being a new mom. I was pleased to be able to breastfeed and enjoyed seeing my baby so happy but never really grasped the full picture. The act of breastfeeding isn't purely about nutrition, but its deeply soothing and settling to a baby as well.

Imagine coming out of the warm cosy womb where the sound of your mother's heartbeat is your companion. You are in a strange and scary new environment. Then your mother embraces you in her arms and puts you to her chest (BTW skin on skin contact/ kangaroo care has awesome benefits too) and on to her breast. You drink away which is soothing to a baby in itself (sucking reflex) and fulfil your thirst or hunger. But not only that, you feel her warmth, smell her skin and hear that familiar heartbeat once again. If you're lucky enough to be nursed to sleep, you drink yourself into a blissful trance and hopefully stay there until you wake up.

Aah the memories I have of that time are so precious to me. Ethan weaned himself (not me) at 20 months. But those precious moments when you know that your baby could not be happier or safer, and that he is getting the best nutrition possible that God specifically made for him at that time, and even time of day - is irreplaceable.

And if you didn't have any luck with getting breastfeeding right, it doesn't stop you from holding your little one tight and staring lovingly into their eyes while they have their bottle.

The time when they are so dependant on you for everything is so short - enjoy every minute of it!

PS If you want some more resources on breastfeeding let me know and I will get it to you.

Passionate about positive parenting

Ever since I was pregnant I wanted to get this parenting thing right, I was adamant. I bought numbers of books which spoke about the basics of baby care, including standard things like routine and self-soothing etc.

Self-soothing?

Such techniques' and theories never sat quite well with me but I accepted that that was how things needed to be done. Until I held my little one in my arms and couldn't bare to see him cry or put him down for any length of time. But wasn't I going to spoil him by nursing him to sleep and holding him in my arms all night long? All these things just felt so RIGHT to me, but contradicted a lot of advice out there.

By the Grace of God I had the wisdom to ask God for wisdom and guidance, and He gave that to my. I'm not quite sure how but He led me to the most amazing resources and professionals that led me on the most amazing journey of growth and enlightenment. This journey still carries on today, as my little boy is now a busy two year old, and my unconventional parenting style has been the foundation of what I continue to this day and will continue to do so as long as I'm a mother.
This is something that I'm so passionate about that I often find myself talking anyone's ear off who will give me the opportunity to explain. So I reckon what better than a blog so that I can get all my thoughts on paper.

So watch this space as there will be lots to come!